IT’S A DRESS NOT A YES!

If a victim can be blamed for being sexually assaulted because her clothes were provocative, we might as well start blaming the banks that gets robbed because its content is provocative. What can be the explanation for infants being raped? The frocks they wear or the smile they passed to their thirty year old cousin? Why is it more shameful to be raped than to be a rapist? It’s because of justifying a criminal’s actions by victim blaming and by telling a victim that if she gets raped she loses her dignity. The length of a women’s clothes is not an indication of consent. The narcissists are always trying to shift the shame and blame the victim on the basis of what she wore, where she was, at what time was she there. They pretend that sexual harassment is something that only happen to people who make bad choices. We all know that anyone from a nun to a soldier can be sexually harassed. And while everything from alcohol consumption to attire is blamed, no one blames the rapist. The brutal reality is that no amount of excuses can deny the fact that the only thing/person responsible for rape is ‘THE RAPIST’.

How can we stand together against rape culture?

‘Boys will be boys’

‘She was drunk’

‘She was wearing reveling clothes’

‘Women say no, when they mean yes’

Rape culture is literally backed by phrases like this. The deep rooted cause of rape culture is patriarchy, Power and control. Keeping in mind that men are victim of sexual assault too, Why don’t we warn young men to not be a distraction to women around them, to not wear shorts to school, to not get too drunk as someone might take advantage of them or to just not go on a walk alone. Why a women has to think thousands of time before doing something for herself, be it wearing her favorite dress or to just go for a walk alone.

To stop rape culture we need to start educating our men instead of protecting our women. Education begins from home, how women are treated at home is how boys perceive that a woman has to be treated.

• Teach your children about consent.

• Always Speak out against the wrong

• Stop Victim-blaming

• Listen to survivors

If a person can be tempted into inappropriate behavior because an outfit is showing too much skin, then the problem is not the skin or the outfit but the person. If our culture insists on believing the lie that clothes leads to rape, despite all the contrary facts, then the problem is our culture. We shall all come together to make this world a better and safe place for our women. And by saying to create a safe space we are not implying that we have to continue controlling a women’s life to keep her safe. We need to create a space where women can simply just be themselves and live the carefree and independent life they deserve to live without the fear of being killed or raped.